Dear Unrepairable Circus,

I need to rest. I have been resting for more than a year now, and still I’m not done resting. This means I must be very tired, or you must be very exhausting.

R E S T  R E S T  R E S T  R E S T  A N D  R E S T  s o m e  m o r e

Maybe my need for rest has more to do with you-as-I-knew-you ending and me becoming undone in that process of your seemingly endless ending. Things got very messy, your ending very slow. I became open-ended along the way. Now I need to rest. I need (to) repair. I need to stitch, to lace, to embroider.

I’m letting go of the desire to repair you.
Maybe you are unrepairable.

Or I am just tired.

Maybe we both need rest.